Our Highest Calling

There are days where I want to call in sick. I want to clock out early and relax with a glass of wine and watch something that isn't animated. Some days I just don't want to do it. The tantrums, the questions, the power struggles. They're exhausting. 

How many days does God think "I wish she would stop doing that". As humans we are Gods most frustrating creation. But we are also his most precious. So precious he sent his only son to break us from the bondage of sin. 

 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."

John 3:16-17

So are there days I want to give up and call it quits? Absolutely. Would I ever? Not for all the gold or silver. Being a mom is what I think to be the highest honor this side of heaven. It is God saying here is my child, I'm trusting you to raise them and lead them to me. Y'all that's a lot to take in. But want to know a secret. We aren't doing it alone. Even if it feels like it at times. I'm a single mom. Trust me when I say some days I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. But our father is right there. To give us strength when our earthly minds and bodies cannot take anymore. He's there to give us wisdom when we are lost for answers. He is our biggest supporter. 

For all the hard moments and days there are even more sweet and precious ones. Tonight Lindsey have me a huge hug and said mommy you're my best friend. For me it doesn't get much better. When I feel like I'm failing in the parent department I watch her as she bows her head and folds her hands to pray. She doesn't fully understand the action of praying but I know she will.

Parenting is hard. But it is the most rewarding job I have ever held. To me it is more than a job. I was created to be her mommy. Right now that is my most important role. I know one day my lap will be empty for she will no longer want to sit in it. I'll have a whole new set of power struggles and bad days. For now I need to remember that this moment, this day is a gift. And treat it as such. Everyday I get to teach her, correct her, love her is a gift. 

I could never thank God enough for trusting me to raise His precious daughter. 

Today is a Gift

Dear mama:

I wont always cry when you leave the room, or beg to sit on your lap during dinner.

I wont always want to color on every inch of our house or drop goldfish crumbs wherever I go.

I wont always throw tantrums in the grocery store or fight my sleep until we are both worn out.

I wont always want to watch the same show or ask you to play with me.

I wont always want to wear your shoes or ask for your lipstick.

I wont always ask for a cookie for breakfast or hardly eat any dinner.

I wont always want to drink your coffee first thing in the morning or ask you to read the same book over and over again.

I wont always want to snuggle in your bed or get tangled in my covers.

I wont always want you to take me to the park or go down the slide a hundred times.

I wont always want to color on every inch of our house or drop goldfish crumbs wherever I go.

Take heart mama for these days will go as quick as they came. Remember I am still a baby learning my way in this world. I depend on you to guide me and teach me. Be patient with my never ending questions and remember these moments for one day they will be gone.

Remember today is a gift and to enjoy every inch of it. 

A Little This A Little That

Since Lindsey has been born there has not been one stage I have been anxious to get through. I didnt mind being up every three hours nursing, I didnt mind her having days and nights confused and I loved her starting to talk. I never pushed her to crawl, walk, roll, sleep through the night, etc. However, I am SO OVER this teething nonsense. AH! It hits like a tidal wave and suddenly shes up all night and doesnt want to eat.

I posted all about how I survive teething here but I have to say, I have stopped using the Hylands teething tablets after seeing them being recalled for causing seizures. Scary! We have been up all night for the past 4 nights, and lets just say this momma is tired! I am soo thankful for my family. My mom has been really great and getting up with her in the wee hours so I can get in a quick 2 hours and my grandma has been watching her in the afternoon so I can take a cat nap. I dont know what I would do without them especially since I am in summer school.

She is super precious though and I wouldnt trade her for anything. Even a full 6 hours of sleep.

In other news: our family bought a new Toyota Rav 4!! Yay us!! We traded in my moms truck for this baby. Itll be so great when we get to NC and have to drive in snow.

I have been wanting a quick an delicious lunch and egg salad has been first on my mind. This version has no mayonnaise and I skipped the bread and used pretzel chips instead. Delish and healthy and completely Dukan!

Healthy Egg Salad

Serves 4

- 8 hardboiled eggs 

- 3 TBSP plain non fat greek yogurt

- 1 TBSP spicy brown mustard

- Salt and pepper

- dash of paprika

I throw the eggs in a pot and cover with water. I then add a dash of salt, this will tell me if there are any bad eggs because they will float to the top. Then I stick them on the stove and crank the heat to high. I set the timer for 20 minutes and leave them alone. Once they are done, I run them under cold water and stick them in the fridge to cool. Once cooled, I peel them all, slice them in half and place them in a large bowl. I add the yogurt, mustard and spices and adjust accordingly. Remember, you can always add more but cannot take out! Then I dig in with a handful of pretzel chips! Yuuummm :)

I leave you with this thought: You will never know what God can do in your life unless you give him the chance to lead it.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" Matthew 5:3

Lead Your Lambs

My mother, the wise Christian woman I learn from, posted this on facebook the other day:

Yesterday I heard about how Jesus compares us to sheep. Not lions or rhinos or something cool. Sheep. They are a dumb animal and listen to the voice of their master to keep them safe. Those that wander off can't hear the voice of their master and are led astray and lead their little lambs down with them. Lead your little lambs to God and set a good example for them. Take them to church and teach them to listen to the loving voice of their master so that one day you will be together in heaven. The only thing you can take to heaven are your children. This poem says it all. 

‘Twas a sheep not a lamb that went astray

In the parable Jesus told.

‘Twas a grown sheep that wandered away

From the ninety and nine in the fold.

And out on the hilltop, and out in the cold,

‘Twas a sheep the Good Shepherd sought.

Back to the fold and back to the flock,

‘Twas a sheep that the Good Shepherd brought.

Now, why should the sheep be so carefully fed

And cared for even to-day?

Because there is danger if they go wrong,

They will lead the lambs astray.

The lambs will follow the sheep, you know,

Where’er they wander–where’er they go.

If the sheep goes wrong, it will not be long

Till the lambs are as wrong as they.

So still with the sheep we must earnestly plead,

For the sake of the lambs to-day.

If the lambs are lost, what a terrible cost

The sheep will have to pay!

-C.C. Miller

Our Children are the only things we can take with us to Heaven. That right there says it all. It is my duty as her mother to give her the foundation of a relationship with God. To know the merciful Father in Heaven that she can always turn to and cast her cares on. And if she decides later in life that she wants to venture away from her faith, that will be her decision. But I will know I instilled what I could in her.

 

If I didnt, what kind of sheep would I be? I would let my little lamby wander this Earth with only earthly things to turn to. That is not the kind of life I want my daughter to know. This world is cold, cruel, and harsh because of the sin that has infiltrated our homes and lives. But when you know God, that cold cruel world has hope. Faith that one day this earth will be gone and we will journey to our heavenly home full of joy and wonder. Faith that through the Lord we can accomplish anything. Faith that through the Lord we do not have to struggle alone, we can cast all our cares on him. Doesnt that sound like a much better life? I know it has been for me since I gave my life to God.

 "How do you even know there is a heaven?" Well I know because my faith and the bible tells me so. And if there isnt, then I will lay in the ground for the rest of eternity and wont know the difference. But if there is, I would rather have my faith and know I will join my Father in heaven, and my parents, and hopefully Lindsey someday, rather than take the chance of going the other way. 

We were told this the other day in bible study: "Theres a price to pay if we would gain spiritual wisdom, but there's an even greater price to pay if we dont gain it."

Guide your lambs. Take them to church. Read to them their bible. Make sure they know the rainbow is Gods way of telling us he will never send another flood (Gen 9:13-17 NIV) Make sure they know that the Lord has a plan for them. Plans for a future and plans for hope (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

And above all make sure they know "For God so loved the world that her gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16 NIV)

6 Months

I cannot believe my little princess is half a year old! Where has the time gone??

This past month you:
- have started only sleeping on your stomach
- have had peaches, pears, apples, peas, carrots, green beans, bananas, and sweet potatoes
- have started hating veggies so we put a little fruit in with the veggies and that seems to work
- had your first sinus infection
- started having stranger awareness and a couple meltdowns when someone new holds you
- are such a wiggle worm! ill put you in one place on the floor and your in a new one every time I look
- are sitting up all alone!
- still get up a few times in the night. Mommy misses her sleep
- have started making this really loud yelling noise every time we are in church, the grocery store and pretty much whenever you please. It is so adorable though.
- have grown out of a lot of your 6 month clothes! We have a chunky monkey on our hands!
- love giving mommy kisses :)

I love watching the world through your eyes angel. Everyday spent with you is the best day ever. Mommy loves you so very much.

4 Hours Past Normal

As I sit and write this my sweet 6 month angel is fast asleep in her crib. You would never know the past few days have been a whirlwind for her. Since she had her sinus infection she has been spitting up a couple times a day. She has never been one to spit up. Ever. I thought it as due to the antibiotics they had her on but now I am not sure since she has been off that medicine for a week.

For the past few days fussy has been her middle name. Every time I leave the room she is just starts crying. This has been very trying for this mama. I have started school and that is time consuming in itself and i am determined to get good grades. I have been staying up wayy past my "bedtime" to spend time with Brian when he gets home from work and getting up early with baby girl. I have spread myself extremely thin. Tonight i almost broke. I am going on 4 hours of sleep and endless amounts of stress.

I cant be the only mom out there who finds herself thinking I am doing this all wrong. Or I could be doing this much better. I kept comparing myself to other moms or my own mom thinking how they would do it. Once baby finally settled I did too. With my bible and some very inspiring blogs. I came to the realization that guess what? I am doing the best I can. I am nowhere near a perfect mom but who is? I know the Lord gave me Lindsey for many reasons. I am to teach her and nurture her but she is really teaching me right now. Teaching me about more about myself, teaching me to lean on Him when all else seems to be failing.

Instead of focusing on what I could do better I need to relax and know that He will lead me as long as I listen. I will make mistakes. Tons. But one look from that precious baby and it is all worth it. The lack of sleep, the stress, everything. She is the best part of every day and always will be.

Mommy loves you so very much baby girl. Please have patience with me for I am new to this whole parenting thing. I promise to always try to do my best and to love you with everything I have.

In the end thats what matters. Trying your best and loving with all you have.