The Truth

I have been wondering why it has been so hard for me to blog lately. Well actually all of 2013 I really struggled with sitting down and doing it. Yes I was busy but I know I had time. There had to be more to it. The other day as I was compiling my Christmas post it dawned on me. I hesitate to blog because I assume my life is inadequate for people to want to see.

I dont have a fancy camera.

I live with my parents and am raising my daughter on my own.

I am still waiting on the happily ever after.

I dont have the faith maturity to give sound advice.

I am still working to earn my degree after being in college since I was 17. Im 23 now.

I am not as creative as other people are.

I dont cook nearly as often as I used to.

My writing is not as eloquent or witty as other blogs I read.

This list could go on and on. I have been so caught up in what I don't have that I have forgotten what I do have. I found it hard to blog because I was constantly comparing myself to other bloggers who seemed to have more in life. I always ended up wanting more in my own life. Yet while I was editing my Christmas post I felt a huge sense of gratitude and gratefulness that my heart has been lacking. 2013 was a really hard year emotionally for me. My life was not in the place I wanted it to be or thought it should have been. I faced many hard days and struggled with my spiritual thirst. All of those material things I listed do not define me as a person. The only thing that can keep my content is my spiritual faith and relationship with God.

My pastor did a sermon a few months ago on spiritual thirst. The story of the samaritan woman in John 4 is one I can identify with. The woman has been fulfilling her needs with husbands to define and quench her spiritual thirst. Jesus tells the woman "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life" John 4:13-14. After speaking more with Jesus, John writes that the Samaritan woman left her water jug to tell the people in the town of her encounter with the Christ (John 4:28). To me, her leaving the jug symbolized her leaving all of her shame and guilt from the past with it.

There have been times I have tried to quench my thirst with earthly things. However, when they are gone I am thirsty yet again. It isnt until I ask for God to fill me with his spirit, does my soul feel full. It is a daily process of spending time with God and in his presence that I feel close to him and my need for fulfillment by the earths standards is diminished.

So no I do not have all those things I listed above. But I have much more in my heart of hearts. What I have cannot be measured by others or society's measure of wealth. I have a relationship with my Lord and Savior and that to me is so much more. I now look at my life with an extreme amount of blessing and gratitude. The Lord has blessed me with far more than I deserve and I thank him everyday for that. I think it will be easier for me to be more honest and open with my life on here now that I am aware of my problem. I look back at my posts in 2012 and a lot of them were forced by someone who was trying to portray her life as happily ever after. It couldn't have been further from the truth. So now that is my sob story. But its the truth and what is life is you don't tell the truth?

Lead Your Lambs

My mother, the wise Christian woman I learn from, posted this on facebook the other day:

Yesterday I heard about how Jesus compares us to sheep. Not lions or rhinos or something cool. Sheep. They are a dumb animal and listen to the voice of their master to keep them safe. Those that wander off can't hear the voice of their master and are led astray and lead their little lambs down with them. Lead your little lambs to God and set a good example for them. Take them to church and teach them to listen to the loving voice of their master so that one day you will be together in heaven. The only thing you can take to heaven are your children. This poem says it all. 

‘Twas a sheep not a lamb that went astray

In the parable Jesus told.

‘Twas a grown sheep that wandered away

From the ninety and nine in the fold.

And out on the hilltop, and out in the cold,

‘Twas a sheep the Good Shepherd sought.

Back to the fold and back to the flock,

‘Twas a sheep that the Good Shepherd brought.

Now, why should the sheep be so carefully fed

And cared for even to-day?

Because there is danger if they go wrong,

They will lead the lambs astray.

The lambs will follow the sheep, you know,

Where’er they wander–where’er they go.

If the sheep goes wrong, it will not be long

Till the lambs are as wrong as they.

So still with the sheep we must earnestly plead,

For the sake of the lambs to-day.

If the lambs are lost, what a terrible cost

The sheep will have to pay!

-C.C. Miller

Our Children are the only things we can take with us to Heaven. That right there says it all. It is my duty as her mother to give her the foundation of a relationship with God. To know the merciful Father in Heaven that she can always turn to and cast her cares on. And if she decides later in life that she wants to venture away from her faith, that will be her decision. But I will know I instilled what I could in her.

 

If I didnt, what kind of sheep would I be? I would let my little lamby wander this Earth with only earthly things to turn to. That is not the kind of life I want my daughter to know. This world is cold, cruel, and harsh because of the sin that has infiltrated our homes and lives. But when you know God, that cold cruel world has hope. Faith that one day this earth will be gone and we will journey to our heavenly home full of joy and wonder. Faith that through the Lord we can accomplish anything. Faith that through the Lord we do not have to struggle alone, we can cast all our cares on him. Doesnt that sound like a much better life? I know it has been for me since I gave my life to God.

 "How do you even know there is a heaven?" Well I know because my faith and the bible tells me so. And if there isnt, then I will lay in the ground for the rest of eternity and wont know the difference. But if there is, I would rather have my faith and know I will join my Father in heaven, and my parents, and hopefully Lindsey someday, rather than take the chance of going the other way. 

We were told this the other day in bible study: "Theres a price to pay if we would gain spiritual wisdom, but there's an even greater price to pay if we dont gain it."

Guide your lambs. Take them to church. Read to them their bible. Make sure they know the rainbow is Gods way of telling us he will never send another flood (Gen 9:13-17 NIV) Make sure they know that the Lord has a plan for them. Plans for a future and plans for hope (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

And above all make sure they know "For God so loved the world that her gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16 NIV)