As I sit and write this my sweet 6 month angel is fast asleep in her crib. You would never know the past few days have been a whirlwind for her. Since she had her sinus infection she has been spitting up a couple times a day. She has never been one to spit up. Ever. I thought it as due to the antibiotics they had her on but now I am not sure since she has been off that medicine for a week.
For the past few days fussy has been her middle name. Every time I leave the room she is just starts crying. This has been very trying for this mama. I have started school and that is time consuming in itself and i am determined to get good grades. I have been staying up wayy past my "bedtime" to spend time with Brian when he gets home from work and getting up early with baby girl. I have spread myself extremely thin. Tonight i almost broke. I am going on 4 hours of sleep and endless amounts of stress.
I cant be the only mom out there who finds herself thinking I am doing this all wrong. Or I could be doing this much better. I kept comparing myself to other moms or my own mom thinking how they would do it. Once baby finally settled I did too. With my bible and some very inspiring blogs. I came to the realization that guess what? I am doing the best I can. I am nowhere near a perfect mom but who is? I know the Lord gave me Lindsey for many reasons. I am to teach her and nurture her but she is really teaching me right now. Teaching me about more about myself, teaching me to lean on Him when all else seems to be failing.
Instead of focusing on what I could do better I need to relax and know that He will lead me as long as I listen. I will make mistakes. Tons. But one look from that precious baby and it is all worth it. The lack of sleep, the stress, everything. She is the best part of every day and always will be.
Mommy loves you so very much baby girl. Please have patience with me for I am new to this whole parenting thing. I promise to always try to do my best and to love you with everything I have.
In the end thats what matters. Trying your best and loving with all you have.