But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
This verse holds for me all I seek from God on a continual basis. I constantly struggle with feelings of inadequacies every day. As a mother, a student, even just being a woman in this world sometimes makes me feel less than amazing. However, Paul just reminds me that in my moments of weakness, thats when God's love and power shine. He takes those feelings of imperfection and replaces them with his mercy and grace.
When I feel myself looking in the mirror wishing I had less body to see, I will find comfort in who God made me. When I wish I hadn't eaten that cookie, I will pray for self control and strength. When I find myself envying that happy family in the restaurant I will take comfort in God's plan for my life.
God is in control of all area's of my life. It is up to me to release the control and find strength through him in my times of weakness. Those feelings of weakness are completely normal. But we have a chance to live beyond that and find strength in those times of weakness through prayer and spiritual nourishment.
This leads me to another focus for 2014: Embrace. I am constantly finding myself living in the future and not in the present. You know that fabulous future where I finally meet my prince charming and we live in a fabulous house and are so incredibly in love. Yes I still dream of getting married and finding the man God created for me but it shouldn't deter me from finding fulfillment right now. God is paving my future and will bring me my partner when he knows I am ready.
Another part of my life I long to Embrace more of is my time with Lindsey. I have found that with her being a toddler I am more worn out than ever. I feel like no has become my favorite word and while no is sometimes necessary, I want to be more of a yes mom. I want to embrace her being 2 and not struggle with it. I want to fully soak up every word she says and see life through her baby eyes. Its amazing how we can find ourselves in a place of later rather than now. So I'm taking a stand. I say now, not later.
Now I will be healthier. Not tomorrow.
Now I will embrace all my child has to offer. Not later.
Now I will enjoy my life single and get to know myself better. Not next week.
The later, tomorrow, and next week will come. But the today will be gone once we lay our head down at night. I intend to make 2014 full of finding comfort in God's strength and fulfillment and joy in the day I have now. Not tomorrow.